All Things Slovene, reborn: March 2010

Signs of Spring

Can’t you just taste Spring?

And can you see numbers as colors? Assign colors to letters? See colors when you hear music?

Are all your words tasty as they flow from your mouth?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you are one of the 1 in 2000 people with the extraordinary gift of having your five senses intermingled. You have Synesthesia -- A condition arising from insufficient “ in-utero pruning” of the nerve connections between the five senses. People with Synethesia do things like, “think of the letter A as red, S as yellow or Z as black”. That sounds like Dr. Seuss to me. That was pruning at age 3. You know, A is (red) for apple, S is for (yellow) sun, and Z is for (black) zebra. And besides, who wouldn’t say 1,000,000 makes them think green, and Braham’s Lullabies blue?

And as for tasting words? Can anyone seriously argue about the taste of the word mint,

or vomit?

And how about O? Does it take a Synethesia affliction to assign orange to that letter?

Let's just say I am skeptical of this new found "diagnosis". Unusual characteristic maybe, but diagnosis?

It's those Pharmaceutical Companies. Up to something -- again.

Yes, that's it, a scheme to market Psychedelics.

But Dr. Julie Simner from the University of Edinburgh, along with her colleagues at UCSD feel Synethesia is indeed a real entity. They see “striking consistency” among Synethesics in “not always predictable” ways.

Does that mean some people see "O", and think magenta?

Think "ocean" and see red?

Really? I see trouble up ahead for ROY G. BIV.

But let's be fair. Perhaps there's something to it. Take “Clockwork Orange”, now that was black humor, and tasteless as well. That must somehow be relevant. And here in Slovenia doors do seem good enough to eat. Like candy lining the streets really. One delicious door after another -- -- Jolly rancher, Double Bubble, sour lemon drops.

And then there’s MARCH. That word makes one see gray before it is even out of one's pink mouth.

Whether it is the gray clouds, gray fog, grey rivers, black boots, gray socialist-era buildings, relentless cold, the constant smell of sauerkraut in the square, the gray dilapidated Baroque buildings, recurring snow to highlight the grey, grey clothes, grey art nouveau, or the long lines of pale root vegetables in the market, it is somewhat bleak right now in Ljubljana. It does give one a new perspective on all the orange hair, but it gets old.

Shades of gray

Root Vegetables: "Winter in a Bin"

There is a lot of cabbage in this country, and sauerkraut
(note the bucket)

Winter Window on Cankareva Cesta
Ljubljana

In order to combat the grey, Slovenians put orchids or other colorful flowers in their grey windows, go skiing, and recreate……in water.

It is this time of year that Slovenians know how to turn that gray, into blue.

Blue you can see, and taste, and feel, too.

Yes, Slovenians have this late winter season figured out.

They visit WELLNESS CENTERS, SPAS, THERMAL RESORTS, MINERAL SPRINGS, and WATER PARKS.

Slovenia is a karst region with extensive caves, underground canyons, geysers, and thermal springs.

In fact, there are 87 thermal springs in this country the size of New Jersey, and that translates into blue, and green, opportunity.

Spa tourism accounts for the largest percentage of tourist activity in the country. In fact, the number of admissions to thermal pools per year is triple the total number of inhabitants in all of Slovenia. The Slovenian Spa Association boasts 25 multi-acre and government accredited Thermal Health resorts, as well as countless other smaller water parks, pools, and spas. AND, the “natural healing powers of the magnesium and calcium rich waters have been officially recognized by the Slovenian Ministry of Health."

Now that is a government with taste.

Resorts dot the country’s landscape, and boast saunas, relaxation, skiing, massages, healing waters, water slides, solariums, mud baths, and ..........

dentists.

Dentists?,

Dentists?

The word that makes one see black, and taste cherry flavored Novocaine?

Dentists on vacation?

Dentists, on a relaxing getaway?

Dentists, as part of a wellness package?

No. It can't be.

It must be one of those google translator mishaps.

But further inspection left no doubt. The international symbol for dentist was clear.

Yes, Slovenian spas, and many ski resorts as well, have the unfathomable to American tourists:

In-house, full-time, dentists.

A picture is worth a thousand words

Slovenians have quirky perspectives that make them quite endearing to foreigners.

Endearing Slovenian characteristic number 1:

Slovenians care about comfort, and beauty, and art, and have their dental work done on vacation.

It does seem odd at first, but given further thought, the idea of having a dentist on vacation is brilliant. Why haven’t Americans thought of this?

I think we have a shortage of Synethesics. How else can one explain our not intermingling the senses when it comes to our teeth?

What better way to mitigate hell, than to intermingle it with a little bit of heaven. You know, surround the bitter with the sweet, the terrifying with the relaxing.

“This will be a holiday to make you smile with confidence and give you more zest for life.”

Quotes like this are common on Slovenian spa and ski resort websites.

"Visit the Hotel Miklic, and your holiday will include relaxation for all the family in the state of the art Health Resort and Wellness Center, as well as dental treatments you may have been putting off. On the first day of your holiday you will be seen for diagnosis and advice. The treatment may start on the 2^nd day, and generally speaking your dream of a beautiful smile can come true in a 7 day holiday. In cases such as implants, you will come back after a few months to complete your treatment. You will enjoy your stay --- that’s a PROMISE!"

Now it doesn't take a Synethesic to put two and two together.
That is, suddenly, the word dentist has a whole new meaning, and color, and taste.

“DENTIST : No more cherry Novocain, just Cherries Jubilee.

“DENTIST”: No more dingy yellow, only pearly white

“DENTIST”: No more drill, just beautiful music to one’s ears.

Dr. Simner, I think we have some data for you.

Vodno Mesto Atlantis, Ljubljana’s inner city water resort, does not have its own dentist. It seems clear that its healing powers are needed to mitigate the surrounding sprawl, of suburban boxmart shopping stores.

VODNO MESTO ATLANTIS, Ljubljana

Atlantis has plenty to offer though, and is indeed rejuvenating. It is complete with saunas, thermal pools, underwater caves, geysers, three story water slides, hair salons ,naked men,and clean feet.

Endearing Slovenian characteristic number 2:

Slovenians are not self-conscious. Not on buses, not in stores, not in cafes, and not in spas.

There is only one dressing room in the Atlantis. That is a true statement. One dressing room for women, men and children. There are stalls, IF one chooses to use them, but they don’t seem particularly relevant. Call it refreshing really, though suddenly the word naked takes on a blushing hue.

“Are you sure this is the right way?”

“Yes, MOM, we told you this is how it was. You ARE a DOCTOR aren’t you?”

“Yes, I know,

but all these naked bodies. I do feel like I'm in my office. ."

Once inside the spa, it is no different.

Men and women hug and kiss, and frolic and laugh in the hot tubs.

Children are topless. Women wear very small bottomed bathing suits, and men wear even smaller ones.

Unlike (in the) US, Slovenians just don't seem to have hang-ups about their bodies.

And thus, no cover-ups either. Not when lounging, chatting, or even when eating.

Hollin was jealous of the hot tub pairs, Hippolyta appalled, and Zue downright tickled.

“Mom, don’t tell anyone but I see that man’s two balls. You know, his two PRIVATE balls.”

Finally, a place where the language barrier could come in handy.

And as for me? I spent my time contemplating how I was going to act casual with those men in small suits so close to my food.

Because next, was dinner.

“Tzhat will be 8 and 50 UUurros, and I will tell you where to go”.

“Yes, here is 10, Thank you very much”

“Now, You can go there, to tzhat wheelchair”

“the wheelchair?’

“yes, tzhe wheelchair”

Do we sit in wheelchairs? Is this some sort of spa café healing ritual?

“Yes, look, there, over there, tzhere is the wheelchair.”

"I am so sorry. I do not understand. Is there a particular table, or chair we need to sit in?"

“No, No, Come, Come with me, I wvill show you.”

Ah ha. Imagine my relief when I saw that the wheelchair was for the knives and forks, not the dinner guests.

"TZHE WHEELCHAIR"

One final spa note -- men in these spas don’t seem to stare, glare or even glance at all those women in small suits. Would that be the case in the U.S.?

Are our clandestinely clad private parts leaving something to be desired? ............... so to speak.

Endearing Slovenian characteristic number 3:

Slovenians appreciate the fact that shoes are dirty.

All you AK and other bloggists, for whom removing shoes inside is a must, will feel right at home at these spas, and schools, and museums in Slovenia.

The entrance to the spa area at Atlantis is lined with three, foot-height, and forceful, jet streams of disinfectant. One’s feet get an obligatory and automatic, anti-bacterial wash before partaking of the health and wellness. There are three spickets, so if the first one misses, the other two won’t.

And finally, as if that weren’t enough, here a two other bits of evidence that shoes are dirty, and that foot cleanliness is a priority here.

First, check out Danila Kumar International School’s slipper policy for grades K through 8. Or try and check out a book at their beautifully green-tiled floor school library. "Excuse me, if you would like to come in our library you must put zon yzour slippers. Oh, Ah, ha. you dzon't have any. No, No, do not worry, thzeze in tshis basket fit right zover thse shoes."

And next, take a look at the historical exhibits at Skofja Loka’s (12 km from Ljubljana) Castle museum.