In Italy, Slovenia’s neighboring country, a tris is when three things come together in a timely fashion.
That’s trifecta for us English speakers, and today was none less than a trifecta.
It is the first sunny Fall day here in Ljubljana in three weeks, we are all sick (due to the usual fall onslaught of a multitude of kindergarten respiratory viruses), and it is the first day of our lice infestation.
Norman Doidge, MD, in his book, The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science, says that one’s mind creates its own consciousness.
Thus, this post is a created consciousness regarding our current lice situation, or as we like to call it lice infiestation.
After all, if one is going to create his or her own consciousness, it should be a cheery one.
“Achoooooooooo. Help, mucus, mucus.”
“Mooooooooooooom, wipe her nose!”
"Ok, Ok, just a moment.”
“ Blow. Again. Ok, throw it away and wash your hands. Really well.”
“Oh, wait, wait, I feel something"
"What?"
"In my head, right there. It’s itchy. I know, I bet it’s a lice. Or as my teacher told me, louse, if it's just one.”
“What?”
“You know, lice. Those little creatures. I TOLD you that I had a note about them from school. There was this 4th grader who got in-fest-ed. They jump from head to head. They told us at school not to rub our heads together”
“That is not true.”
“yes, it is really. Why? Why are you saying it like that? Will I be OK?”
Grooming is an adaptive behavior, dating back not only to the very root of being human, but to the very root of being hair, I would guess.
As expert Anthropologists put it, “Grooming is associated with increased relationship trust, and experience of family affection while growing up. People who groom, as opposed to those who do not, are perceived to be better potential parents, more in love with the person they have groomed and more caring and committed to them.”
That’s it! Just the way to put a positive spin on this lice infiestation.
Because the only way to get rid of lice, is to wash, and comb, and comb some more, and pick, and brush. You know, groom.
Oh, and cut.
Another Anthropologist notes, “Grooming stimulates the release of endorphins, which is one physiological reason for why grooming appears to be so relaxing.”
Yes, I’m feeling better already.
But all this grooming has not relaxed the 14 year old brother of the lice infiestated sister, at all. In fact, it has caused more stress. And not just because fourteen year old boys and grooming are natural enemies.
“I just don’t want lice in my pubic hair.”
“What?”
“Son, they can’t get in your pubic hair for god’s sake.”
‘Mom, you’re a doctor, can they?”
Well, they can, but then they’re not called lice, they’re called crabs.”
“You mean like that shot glass grandmother gave us last Christmas, DEPOE BAY, NO CRABS ALLOWED”?”
"yes, just like that.”
“ouuuuuuu, how do you get those?”
“Well, not by rubbing heads together.”
As you may recall, Pharmacies here in Slovenia are a little different. Everything from Motrin, to antibiotic ointment, to cellulite burning concoctions, are controlled, and doled out from behind a big counter at government run Lekarna Ljubljanas. There is a Lekarna Ljubljana every few blocks in the city.
"Dober Dan”
“Dober dan. My daughter has lice and we need some treatment, and some new brushes and combs”
“o Kay. Vich shampoo vould you like? NIX or RID or VICHY?", handing us three brightly colored boxes to examine.”
"Hum, not Vichy, that sounds too much like itchy. Let’s try Nix.”
“And you vill need a comb? Would you like ze electric vun or ze manual vun? The electric vun kills lice with the vibration.”
“That's a hard choice, but I think manual is OK.”
"And you vill wash everything in yvour place. Beds and linens and coats and hats. Do you see? Lice infestation has the capacity to affect each member of the family .”
“Oh, yes, I see. I see it all -- clearly laid out before me. That is why we like to call it infiestation.”
I was beginning to get suspicious though. These Lekarna Ljubljana ladies seemed to know an awful lot about lice. Could this country of impeccable foot cleanliness really have a lice problem?
Could there be a head-wide lice epidemic being covered-up with a good facade of foot cleanliness?
That dreaded Head, Foot, and Louse disease?
I always knew there was more to that orange hair fad than met the eye. The ultimate cover-up.
Even our computer service man last week donned slippers. And those slippers were ingratiating. “You mean you care about our computer AND our hardwood floors?” And the washer repair man wore slip-ons too. And the school library requires them. And the Tivoli Park gym does too. Imagine, a work-out facility providing over-the-shoe black cotton slippers to be worn on the feet of all those masculine, sweaty, weight-lifting bodies. What’s next in this land of nit picky cleanliness, hairnets?
And to make matters even cleaner, there are blue hygiene gloves in the supermarkets to keep the produce germ-free. And don't tell me, zoot suits at the salad bar?
Hygienic gloves for produce at the local supermarket.
It's that socialized medicine element rearing it's ugly (albeit clean) hand again. You know, prevention (of care) is the best cure (for drug companies’ profits). After all, who wants Shigella from their tomatoes, Campylobacter from their carrots, MRSA from their dumbbells, or Onchymycosis from their spa companion? Cleanliness IS next to godliness after all. And I'm not talking about that big porcelain god.
And I bet those blue gloves of Socialism go hand and hand with social consciousness too. That is what social consciousness is for, isn't it? Protecting others from vomiting, (or oozing, or itching), while protecting ourselves too? You know, lending a helping hand ( without even having to touch a contaminated one).
At a recent Ljubljana Law School climate change talk, given by a visiting US corporate climate change consultant, there was much discussion about why the EU is so far ahead of the US on climate change policy, and why EU citizens, unlike US citizens, don't have a problem with policies and governmental restrictions that address climate change. As one of the Slovenian Law professors very politely noted, "Isn't the real problem though, that the ideologies of the US and the EU citizens are just different? ...There is just more anti-government, anti-collective action, and pro-free market sentiment in your country.
Yes, we love our individual freedom, but unfortunately for us, corporations love that idea of individual freedom too. So much so that they have cunningly manipulated that sacred idea, into a tool for their own freedom. And really, it's only fair. Because after all, we do treat corporations like individuals. We give them love, and free speech, and the right to vote, warm tax-free places to live, and subsidies, and a clear voice in government.
But the good news is, when corporations have freedom there is no need for social consciousness. I mean, have you ever seen Walmart get nervous, Dow Chemical vomit, BP clean up a spill, or Goldman Sachs die ? They just don't suffer all those ills that we humans do.
But wait, this is sickening. That idea of lumping corporations with individuals is kind of creepy. If Christine O'Donnell is not a witch, then I am not Ronald MacDonald. And that goatee-d Colonel is just plain weird.
Secretly though, I've always fantasized about a Jolly Green Giant / Sun-Maid(en) Raisin lady rendezvous.
But enough of that. Back to the root of the matter at hand. It's not the Slovenian government and it's medical schemes that is responsible for all these hand, foot and mouth hygienic measures.
It's the Slovenian corporations. The Mercators, and the MaxiMarkets, the computer companies, appliance repair services, and the large, privately-owned gyms and hotel spas. You know, those same corporations that put those customer kava cafes in their parking lots.
Because unlike in the U.S., it's not all about money here. It's only 99% about money. The other 1% is about living well, you know, that social consciousness element. And that 1% makes all the difference.
Local gym requiring over the shoe slippers before entry
In-home, and extremely polite and capable college engineering student, moonlighting for a local computer repair service. Donning slippers, carrying briefcase.
Speaking of social consciousness, I'd better get back to my grooming.
Now, how did that go again?
Wash, rinse, repeat, comb, cut, trim nails, comb again, wash, rinse, repeat.
Oh, yea, and scratch.
Cut and quarantined hair
NIX
Those lice look a little too happy.
Or maybe that’s just GlaxoSmithKline’s take on things
Would someone out there have a comb I could borrow?
Spice caterpillar imitating a tropical fish
