POKLJUKA

Pokljuka

a painted rendition

It seemed a bit harsh to send the kids off to VERBA'S "Zimske (language camp at) Pokljuka" for a week, alone, only three weeks after arrival in a country that speaks well, you know, the language that makes even easy, hard. But we did.

The country shut down this week for "winter holiday,"
and skiing seemed like a natural activity choice, in a country that despite its small New Jersey-like size, has over 30 ski slopes, and lots of snow.

The camp brochure, like the building sign for the language school, had no English, thus provided little information. The little animated skiiers were reassuring though in that they were exclaiming excitedly, and surely, at least one of them was yelling "English", though it wasn't entirely clear given words like "Smucanje" and "Zabava". But even so, certainly someone at the camp would be speaking English.

7:00 am, February 15.
Meeting the bus for Pokljuka,

and an unfortunate last minute translation of the VERBA camp brochure.

"Mom, I got google to translate the VERBA website. You know those little skiers on the brochure?, They aren't really talking about English, their bubble blurby things say "Croatian and Spanish, Italian"
Really?
Yes, really.

No French?

"Nope"
"Is there ENGLISH?"

"I think the Anglescina means English, but I 'm not sure,

Do you think we're going to learn Croatian?"

oh, and listen to this: it says"

"The highlight of the ski events will be held on Friday, which will turn eagerly anticipated game, even earlier, on Thursday evening, but is awaiting tekmovalke young athletes and solemnly draw starting numbers."

and then it has these quotes from last years campers.

Natlalje says, " I liked the most when we jump on skis and have a march with torches"

Alen says, "Takooooooo fun, teachers face, I most enjoyed the wedding."

(a wedding?, really?)

and Metka said " I was skiing very much, especially enjoy when I drive the lift, I can not wait until next year".

(Now, if you want to check this out for yourself, just google Verba, Ljubljana

, and click on that little animated skiier brochure on the right.

And oh, be sure you have your google translator on.)

Drive the lift, the ski lift? and march with torches? a wedding?

I was getting worried. Could it be that those animated little skiiers weren't telling the whole story?

The bus was in a parking lot with 40 Slovenian children ages 7 to 14 saying lots of Slovenian words and smiling to their parents. Primozu (pronounced Primosh) the camp director, introduced himself and said,

"Hello, you are so kind to send your children with us. I wvant to ask yvu. You do not mind if we speak Slovene with yvour children do you? They can learn Slovene? yes? It will be good for them, yes? ".

Now, I think it is safe to say, that if one's mother is not Slovenian, he or she will never, ever, be able to learn Slovene.

When Slovenians talk to you, they have this endearing habit of looking straight into your right eye.
And so, at that point, I had no choice other than to look Primoz straight in his right eye and say, "Okay, Okay, yes, yes, I am sure they won't mind at all".

And really, even if they do, they won't be able to tell you.

.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A VOWEL?

or sell a few consonants?

At first glance, it seems easy. Just add a ji, ja, ca, or ek, to a word, and you've quickly got some Slovene under your belt. But then comes the reality. Before you add that little suffix, you've got to string 5 consonants together, really fast, while simultaneously carrying a melodic tune.

Because then, and only then, will you be speaking Slovene.

There are only 21 consonants in the Slovene alphabet, and no doubt, they stick together.

Now, I understand that without w, x, y, and q, optimal use of the others is imperative, but really, this seems a bit extreme.

My sweet ljubeznic,

or presenecenje! !

or oh, she's just a little sramezljiv,

or vzdrzevanje on your car. Really now.

And unfortunately, as exciting as Slovenia is, one has no choice but to abandon that word altogether upon arrival. Because by the time you've said vznemirljiv, the fun is already over.

And the sine qua non?

Ali lahko govorite bolj pocas prosim?

((i.e. Would you please speak more slowly?))

Now that bloggists, is the ultimate onomatopoeia. Because really, who of us could ever say that at any speed other than slow?

There are 2.4 million people in the world who speak Slovene, and I am confident they account for that small percentage of humans with language centers in both the left and the right hemispheric cortices. MRI scanning of Slovenian brains would most definitely yield some enLIGHTening data.

Clemon, the Chinese teacher put it best when he said, "Vell, you Sve, in Slovenia, one has to learn English, because otherwise, how would you ever learn Chinese? You sve, there is no such thing as a Slovene-Chinese dictionary".

Slovene is one of the Slavic languages, and it has been around for a long, long time. It is one of the very few languages with dual grammatical forms --i.e. not just singular and plural, but in addition, there are different words for groups of two vs. groups greater than two -- and this is one reason it is indeed difficult for us single hemisphere language folks to learn. Slovenes on the otherhand, know an average of 3 or 4 languages, which usually include Slovene, English, Croatian, and then one or two others such as Italian, Macedonian, or French.

Additionally, Slovene has a striking relative excess of ways to express love, friendship, and good will. Combine that with the fact that when one speaks it, he or she is essentially singing all day (i.e. the melodic tune), and it becomes apparent why Slovenes are happy, their country is safe, and beauty is rampant.

During WWII, the Italian Fascists, and then the occupying Germans, suppressed the language, but in the former Yugoslavia, it was recognized as an official language of the country. Today, it is an official language of the EU, and along with Italian and Hungarian, it is of course, the official language of its own beautiful country.

So, that bloggists, is your Slovene lesson for the day.

As they like to say at Staples,

"That was brezskrben"

"EXTRAVAGNJA"

How many languages can fit on the side of a Special K box?
That would be 12.